INSIDE: Caregiving is a multi-series project from 星空无限传媒 uncovering the journey of caregiving, from health disparities and inequities to exploring if our healthcare system is prepared to support the future aging population.
Randall Messer鈥檚 house on the west side of Columbus is decorated with comfortable furniture and photos of his only child, Michelle Messer.
At 73 years old, Randall Messer reports he feels better than ever, but that wasn鈥檛 always the case. Randall Messer was diagnosed with head and neck cancer during the pandemic. Unable to navigate doctors鈥� appointments or even eating by himself, he moved in with his daughter while he was sick.
鈥淚 just wanted to make sure he was going to get through the day because sometimes, I'll be honest, I didn't think he was going to survive,鈥� Michelle Messer said.
RELATED: Affordable housing is a concern as more Ohioans are living longer
Caring for ill or aging loved ones can be extremely rewarding, but it can also be extremely challenging. That鈥檚 why it鈥檚 important for caregivers to take a step back and make sure they take care of themselves, too.
Michelle Messer knows all about navigating caregiving. She doesn鈥檛 romanticize the time her father was sick. While she said it brought her and her father closer together, she admits it was also hard, sometimes seemed hopeless and was often exhausting.
鈥淚t kind of, what I would say is, broke me down to my core and made me realize, you know, how strong I am,鈥� Michelle Messer said.
Randall Messer, now in remission, compares himself to a tree.
鈥淲hat you don't see is their roots underneath. If it weren't for them, that tree would only last 鈥榯il one breeze of wind come by, and it'd be down,鈥� Randall Messer said. 鈥淪o, (Michelle) was the roots that helped me go through that.鈥�
RELATED: What kinds of changes to Ohio laws would make life easier for aging seniors?
Randall鈥檚 advice to anyone going through an illness is to learn to be patient.
鈥淒on't look too far ahead, really, because you probably don't look that well,鈥� Randall Messer said. 鈥淪o just don't look down, you know, when you're on a ladder.鈥�
Michelle Messer鈥檚 advice to other caregivers is, first and foremost, to ask friends, neighbors or church groups to help with daily tasks like food preparation.
鈥淲hen you have so many things going on, the less time you have for to cook a healthy, good meal,鈥� Michelle Messer said.
She recommends making time to exercise, too, even if that just means going up and down the stairs for 10 or 15 minutes. Michelle Messer said music also helps. She鈥檚 a Led Zeppelin fan, while her father likes Elvis Presley and the Beatles. That music helped them through some tough times.
And, of course, it鈥檚 important to take advantage of available resources.
鈥淐aring for care partners is our special sauce."Morgan Fitzgerald, assistant director of the Golden Buckeye Center for Dementia Caregiving
Resources for caregivers
Michelle Messer still needs those resources. She now helps take care of her mother, who does not live with her father. Since her mother has memory loss, Michelle Messer is delving into classes available through the
鈥淐aring for care partners is our special sauce,鈥� said Morgan Fitzgerald, assistant director of the Golden Buckeye Center.
The Golden Buckeye Center for Dementia Caregiving has a very specific mission: providing education, support, and resources for caregivers of loved ones with dementia and Alzheimer鈥檚.
鈥淥ne important takeaway that I always remind myself is that you can't pour from an empty cup,鈥� Fitzgerald said.
The center offers in-person and online classes and trainings ranging from identifying the signs of dementia to managing money. They serve mostly informal caregivers, like family members of those with dementia, but also offer trainings for professional caregivers and classes for folks who want to navigate their own brain health as they begin to age.
Golden Buckeye Center also connects caregivers to all kinds of services through its partners, and offers some supports right on site, like tai chi for dementia caregivers.
The resources are abundant, but sometimes go unused by those who need them most.
鈥淚 think one of the huge barriers into getting services and supports into the hands of caregivers is folks not identifying as a caregiver,鈥� Fitzgerald said.
She said that鈥檚 why the Golden Buckeye Center tries to use the broader term 鈥渃are partner,鈥� to encompass all kids of caregivers.
鈥淭here are a lot of emotional aspects of caregiving that caregivers oftentimes don't talk about."Franklin County Office on Aging Director Chanda Wingo
Who are the caregivers?
Tammy Smith, the manager at the , said caregivers are typically a person鈥檚 鈥減rimary go-to,鈥� which might mean making doctors' appointments, helping with medications or meals or dressing someone. They don't have to be relatives, and sometimes they can be providing support from a distance.
鈥�There are some caregivers who live with their loved ones who actually have caregivers that live in a different state. And so, they're just coordinating resources,鈥� Smith said. 鈥淪o yeah, caregiving looks different on different caregivers.鈥�
The Central Ohio Area Agency on Aging focuses on older adults and people with disabilities, but it also has resources specifically for caregivers.
Through the National Family Caregiving Program, the agency provides grants to caregivers. It also connects caregivers to meal deliveries, emergency response services and respite care so caregivers can take a break.
鈥淪o that could be in-home respite, that could be an adult day service, institutional respite,鈥� Smith said.
In some cases, COAAA can also help with one-time utility or rental assistance. COAAA also can connect caregivers with counseling.
鈥淭here are a lot of emotional aspects of caregiving that caregivers oftentimes don't talk about,鈥� said Franklin County Office on Aging Director Chanda Wingo.
The , an office under the Franklin County Commissioners, serves country residents over the age of 60, but also funds grant programs that host caregiving conversations or circles, Wingo said.
"We recognize that our aging population is growing at such a fast rate that we need to be able to support those who are supporting our seniors,鈥� she said.
"It really is going to require that everyone either step into a caregiving role or just have a caregiving mindset."Franklin County Office on Aging Director Chanda Wingo
An aging population
Every day in Franklin County, about 38 people turn 60, Wingo said. At the same time, people are living longer. Starting this year, the Franklin County Office on Aging serves four generations: the greatest generation, the silent generation, the baby boom generation, and now, the oldest of Gen X.
Wingo said many caregivers are aging as well. Some adult children in their 60s and 70s are taking care of parents in their 80s, 90s or 100s.
鈥淪o, when you think about that, it really is going to require that everyone either step into a caregiving role or just have a caregiving mindset,鈥� Wingo said.
Michelle Messer, ever in the caregiving mindset, said she has learned a lot about caregiving, both through her lived experience and from the resources available through the Golden Buckeye Center for Dementia Caregiving. Still, she said there鈥檚 more to learn.
鈥淚'm continuing to learn and continuing to try to educate myself,鈥� Messer said.
